Twerking: What is it, and why do we care so much?

   In lieu of the Miley Cyrus, VMA debacle, I thought to myself, “Self, it’s time for some hardcore twerk research. We owe it to the public”; And yes my friends, I did indeed do just that. Now, let’s be very clear, I do indeed know what twerking is. If you are anywhere close to Mizzou on a Friday night you also know what twerking is. This article, however, is for the slim percentage of the population that actually spend their time educating themselves on topics worth while, such as: politics, current events etc. In other words, those who -unlike myself- don’t have time to research the origin of this new trend.
   Long before Miley Cyrus decided to twerk on a married man on national television, the new phenomena was first made mainstream by none other then Queen Beyoncé herself in 2006. That’s right. According to HLNtv.com she was the first to include the word “twerk” in her music reciting, “Dip it, pop it, twerk it, stop it”. Lyrics from her song “Check On It” for the motion picture “Pink Panther”. 
   The craze took off. There were millions of Youtube videos, twerk teams, and pleasantly confused young men all around the country. And then there was Miley. You see, Miley is in fact seven years behind trend; but between you and me, let’s not waste our time trying to convince her of that. In all actuality, little Destiny Hope Cyrus had just started on her Hannah Montana journey when the craze hit. BUT In all due respect to Billy Ray, from now on I will leave Hannah out of this matter. It’s the least I could do. 
   Now for the official definition. Unfortunately, Webster has not yet gotten around to the defining this life-altering movement, so I had to turn to the second best source- Urban Dictionary. According to UD twerking is, “The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in ones intended audience”. To put it into context, UD provides us this example of when to properly use the term, “Hey girl, let’s go twerk on the dance floor”. Oh UD, you get me every time. 
   And finally, why in the hell do we all care so much? Well, I can personally say that I only care because when pretty girls twerk and thus, their faces are on the floor, I then become the prettiest female specimen in the room (Yes, I’m serious). As for everyone else, well, I’m not sure. So, like every other logical American who doesn’t know something, I turned to Katie Couric who tweeted a link a little over a month ago reading, “This. This twerking.” With a video attached (Viewer discretion is advised).
   If you want the HONEST truth, I think the viewing audience is so captivated by twerking because one, it’s nothing short of an optical illusion; and two, we love the hot mess that comes with it. Wherever twerking is, trouble will soon follow. Whether it’s at the frat house on Friday night where Becky is twerking on her best friend Jenny’s boyfriend; or at the VMAs where Miley Cyrus- a previous Disney Channel star and role model, (Yes, I meant previous role model) is twerking on Robin Thicke who appeared to be completely prepared with his pimp suit on. Drama is drama, and ‘We the People in order to form a more dysfunctional union’ have fully accepted our role in this new craze, and have rightfully accepted our membership into Twerk Nation. What can I say, another win for America.